Hate Me Sweetly
by Celina Wood
Summary: im dying squirtle
1. Chapter 1

I walked the halls as I always did, head held high, back straight, slight smirk gracing my lips. This story was how I dealt with hatred, love and everything in between. I was Eridan Ampora and I was fucking royalty, remember that.

...

Chapter 1

School was simply a hell, nothing else to call it, and I was sitting in class bored as usual. In one hand I held a pencil that I was twirling around my long fingers. My other hand sat in my lap. With my violet eyes I scanned the room for something to focus on, anything but the horrid lecture we were listening to as a class.

The window was out, I didn't care much for the view. All I could see from the basement biology room window was the plants on the ground, nothing good was growing. I could see a strip of dirt as well but who really cared about the dirt of this earth? What would distract me there?

That left something in the room, there was the girls, the boys, and the posters. With a quick scan I knew the posters were out, I've been looking at the same pictures for the last two and a half years of high school. The same old plants and animals stared back at me when I tried to focus on them, and details of anatomy I already knew from boring classes only annoyed me.

That then left the students sitting around me. Violet eyes swept the room again as I began tapping my pencil instead of twirling it. Karkat, a close acquaintance, was in the first row, he was passing notes back and forth with John, the class dork who claimed "no homo", nothing there. Kanaya, a possible "friend", was sewing in her lap, nothing good there. Feferi, the girl of my dreams and close friend was playing with her long, dark brown hair, and though that distracted me for a few minutes I soon grew bored again. _Oh,_ I thought simply, _why not him?_

'Him', the word I used to name the annoying boy I absolutely hated, there was no other word to sum him up. Well, that was a lie, I could use asshole, or nerd, or even pervert, but I stuck to 'him', after all… it worked. Well, anyway today his dark brown hair was messy the usual for him, and his two colored eyes actually were locked on the teacher, typical of my nemesis, Sollux.

I watched as he sighed and pushed back his hair from his face, the hand then dropped to the desk in front of him, his fingers tapped lightly in time with the second hand of the clock. I rolled my eyes, he was boring, and yet…. I couldn't take my eyes off of him, he was strangely fun to watch.

Minutes went by and all I could do was watch the boy take a few notes, sketch absent-mindedly, and dig at the dirt under his fingernail with a pen. Even this spying was boring and made me wish I was home already, maybe on my computer, or on the phone, or even just goofing off. But no, today had decided to seem as though it was going to slowly.

Wait, back to him. What was he doing? I watched as Sollux looked from one side to the other as though he was worried someone was looking, so much for boring. I slid forward in my seat to be able to see what he was doing better, with his right hand he reached down and pulled out his phone with eyes half on the object in his hand he started texting someone.

A few moments later I could feel my phone buzz against my thigh, he was texting me. Interesting, why would he do that? I chuckled a bit as I pulled my own phone out of my pocket and looked at my new messages.

' _Hey fi2hbreath, why aren't you lii2tening two the teacher?'_ I sighed when I read the text, but I couldn't help but feel a small smile cross my face. When we were in middle school our class came up with their own way to text on day, out of those twenty-three students only twelve of us kept it up.

 _'i pass wwithout listenin, wwhy should i?'_ I watched as He pulled his phone from his lap quickly, the vibration causing him to jump. I chucked quickly and watched him turn to glare at me briefly before swiviling back to the front of the class.

 _'Maybe becau2e he'2 lookiing at you.'_ Before I could ask him who a voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Mr. Ampora, did you hear that?" The teacher asked, his voice daring me to say hadn't, even if he knew the answer before I gave it. Of course I had to give him reason to hate me more than the low life already did.

"No, sir… why would I listen when the world is so beautiful right outside those windows?" the class laughed at the joke, Dave, an asshole in the back of the class, began talking about the irony of the statement as the beautiful dark haired girl sitting next to him rolled her sparkling green eyes behind her large, round glasses. At the reaction of the class I smiled at first, lapping up the attention, letting it get to me I began to smirk.

"I'll tell you why you should listen; it's simple really. The reason you should have been listening is that now your class won't be able to pick partners for this project." The laughter stopped, and people turned to me blank-faced and a bit angry. My mouth dropped.

"W-what? How-w…? w-why…?! W-what project…?" My nervous stutter started up and I flushed red, the entire situation started up a few girlish, shrill giggles, mostly from the beautiful Feferi who probably wouldn't care who she worked with, and though I knew there was no why he'd giggle I saw a small smirk force its way onto _his_ face, he had know this sort of thing would happen.

"The project I was just telling you all about, the one where you will be choosing an animal and doing a three page report on, as well as doing a presentation in front of the class. Your attitude lost the classes ability to choose their partners as well as the animal. Let's see… you'll work with…" He paused for a moment, eyes searching the class, "Sollux Captor."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Silence hung in the air, blank stares followed the teacher, everyone knew that Sollux and I hated each other, we had since grade school after all, and a lot of us had known each other that long. At first the teacher smirked thinking he had won, but then the laughter started. Gamzee Makara, the class clown, had finally figured out what was happening.

Loud laughter echoed off the walls of the small room, cheery laughter at the moment. But soon others had joined in, namely John, Dave, Feferi, and the class bitch, a girl named Vriska. The teacher seemed confused and I felt my face grow hot as I looked down, why did the class really find this so funny?

"Thir..?" I heard the lisping voice ask and I lifted my head to look. Sollux had decided to speak out about all of this.

"Yes, Mr. Capter?" Asked the older male with a soft sigh.

"Well, you thee… I'm never going to work with that fool!" More laughter followed him and he also blushed, then he turned and glared at me intently. I couldn't help but notice his blue and hazel eyes filled with hate.

"Well, you should have thought about that before texting him shouldn't you have?" The boy flushed a darker red and stared at his lap, having been caught and called out in front of the class.

I hated this, sure _he_ was being called out for nearly the first time ever in a class, but now the class hated me. Well, hated me more than they had. I'd ruined their ability to work with their friends! And it was all because the teacher was boring and evil.

And on top of it all I was now working with Sol, my enemy of several years. Ever since he walked into my fifth grade class acting like he could rule us all, ever since he outsmarted every single one of my taunts and teases, and ever since he was better than me.

There, I can admit it to myself, I'm not the best. No, Sollux was the best, not that I'd tell him. He was the nerd you wanted to talk to, just the right amount asshole, pervert, smart, and a hacker. The girls, even if he wasn't popular, liked him, and the boys of any social standing wanted to talk to him. He was a click hopper, a mystery, and he knew what he could do with that sort of power.

Suddenly the bell rang and the students quickly left, chatter breaking the half silence that had been in the room. Feferi moved toward me and grabbed my hand, her bright blue eyes flashing with joy and the light of a game. Her long brown hair surrounded us it seemed and I smiled.

"Hello, Fef" I said, smiling slightly, still upset by the teacher pairing me with _him_.

"Hey Eridan!" She said happily before giggling brightly, she scanned the leaving students then pulled me along, "Where are we sitting for lunch today?"

"Er…. I don't know Fef, how about with Karkat?" She nodded and skipped off dragging me behind her. I was used to being tugged around, she had been my neighbor when we were children and we'd always been close. I guess you could say she was my closest friend.

When we slid into the seats at the table Karkat was just finishing his lecture to the still grinning John. The boy didn't look upset at all that the small Hispanic had been yelling and swearing at him only a few moments before and simply reached into his bag to offer Karkat a bag of chips.

"Here you go Karkat!" He said with a small laugh, the laugh bubbled up a bit more as the bag was yanked from his hands and opened. "You always get grumpy when you're hungry!"

"Yeah, yeah…" he muttered angrily, but I caught a small smile. Said smile vanished as Dave reached over and took a handful of chips.

"Oh hey, my favorite kind," He said, shades hiding his eyes, and with that his emotion. Besides me I heard Feferi giggle and ask for a few, which Dave gave her. Karkat at this point was near exploding from anger. He quickly began yelling at Dave, only to stop when Jade, Dave's girlfriend and friend to everyone, snapped at him to shut up. I smiled and pulled out my lunch of a sandwich, tuna, only to be interrupted from my eating a few second later by the others at the table.

"Did he have any fucking right to take my chips?!" Karkat snapped in my direction, I guess he decided it was time to bring someone else to his side. He was glaring and being half held back by John, who was trying to tell him to calm down. Dave however had two people on his side, Jade, and Terezi. Both were strong girls, but Terezi was something else entirely, she was blind but made up for it with a sick sense of humor, almost as though to prove my point she was, at the moment, mocking Karkat with her tongue out.

"The chips were given to me by this living, breathing example of complete and utter stupidity," with the words he jerked his thumb at John who chuckled and waved, mouth full of his food, buck teeth obvious, "and taken by the emperor of the land of douche. Can I kill him for it?" I blinked and swallowed my mouthful, thinking before I spoke.

"Sure, Kar, of course you can… that is, if you can get out of the arms of your lovin boyfriend." I smiled having caused a stir. Instantly Dave burst out laughing and John blushed babbling something that sounded like "I'm not a homosexual" on repeat.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Karkat shouted, rounding on me and glaring. "We're simply something close to friends, nothing wrong with that is there? Are you going to tease us for sharing a liking of movies? Or is it the fact that I'm bisexual and everyone knows it, just like they all know he's a goddamn fag?"

"I'm not a homo…" John said with a red face.

"Sure you're not," Karkat said before beginning again. "I can act close without you teasing us for it, okay?! Is it because you're jealous of our friendship when you have no one?!" I looked away, having lost. I would never learn my lesson, Karkat did get angrier when hungry, and I would never learn not to tease him.

"Ha," said the voice of Sollux, "It's funny becauthe it'th true. ED… you have no friendth." And people asked why I hated him...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A silence hung over the table like a challenge. I _did_ have friends and where the hell did this nerdy punk get off saying I didn't I turned slowly to face the smirking boy. His light brown, messy hair stuck up in random patches and his two colored eyes stared down at me, they echoed the challenge that seemed to thicken the air, my eyes widened in shock.

A chuckle escaped what I guessed was Karkat's mouth and I heard him sit back in his chair behind me, the chair creaked. I could hear the crinkle of the chip bag while time seemed to slow down for the standing boy and I. His smirk grew as my mouth opened and closed looking for a smart remark to counter what he had said, I felt like the fool I probably looked like. But I did have friends… right?! I had Feferi…

"W-well… I do have friends, contrary to popular belief, Sol. What, you didn't hear the news? W-what does that say about your so called friends?" I smiled, trying to show the comment hadn't hurt me when in truth it had. I was always worried about whether or not my friends actually cared for me.

"ED, you have your thupid little nervouth thtutter… obviously I hit a blow, remember, I've been with you at thchool for a while." He was angering me quickly, why did he have to be good at comebacks?!

"You know-w that cute 'lithp' makes you come off as stupid, right?" If he was going to poke fun at my speech, he was going to pay the same way.

The boy's eyes narrowed, "what did you thay?!" He had already ditched his bag at his table so nothing was holding him back as he grabbed the front of my shirt tightly and pulled me from my seat. He was taller than me, but barely, and his eyes radiated anger. No stopping now, I could only keep talking.

"W-what causes the lisp? Is it somethin' to do with your jaw structure, or is it from your childhood… did you nev-ver learn to speak right, Sol?" I could practically feel his anger before Feferi pulled us apart; she hugged me back to her chest before sitting me down in my chair and facing Sollux on her own.

He was still glaring at me as she leaned in to whisper in his ear, she didn't scream at him as I wished she had, and I could see the way he looked at her, he wanted her. Though I'm sure Fef hadn't wanted me to hear what she said, I did, and what she said hurt me more than words from _him_ could have.

"Don't worry," she whispered, "Ignore what he says… he doesn't know any better…. Sorry about him…" That's when I snapped. That was too much.

I rose to my feet and pushed past the girl I was no longer sure I had crush on, eyes blazing and punched Sol. He stumbled back, and I watched him raise a hand to his cheek in surprise. He seemed to think over the situation, probably trying to figure out how he was going to tell the teacher, before he made his counter move.

The boy threw himself at me, his fists flying, and I could taste blood as his one of his hits connected with my jaw. I heard someone gasp, possibly a girl, and I smirked before tossing Sollux away from me, I didn't mind a small bit of pain. I saw him stand proud though, seeming to not have been affected before his fist came in again, I blocked and moved in as well, smiling as I felt his nose crack under my hand. I could feel the warmth of his blood and I loved it.

"Had enough, Sol?" I asked voice trailing upward, almost in a flirtatious whine. He punched in again as his answer and I simply wagged my finger at him before moving in and half crushing his ribs with my shoulder. I had used my full weight to hit him.

Sollux let out a noise that could have been a whimper or a moan of pain, and I let out a half laugh, pushing him to the ground. We wrestled and I was vaguely aware of the crowd gathering around us, I could hear the chanting of 'fight, fight, fight', could smell food we had upturned as well as the sweat rolling off our bodies, as for taste… I could only find the taste of blood. If he ruined my clothes I'd kill him.

Fists flew and we rolled around still fighting. I could feel fists and nails, his knees and his hips; he really was trying to hurt me. Suddenly he was on top of me, his knees painfully pressing against my hips, his back was arched, and he smirked again, blood ran from his nose and he had a black eye forming, I had a sudden, wild thought of how he looked hot like that. I felt the hands pinning mine and I knew I had lost this fight. I may have lost but I didn't want to go down without more of a fight.

"Ready to back down, ED?" He asked this darkly as he kneed me in the side; I couldn't hold back my pained grunt, I was tired and could feel my body beginning to grow sore. I wanted to back down but Fef's words echoed in my ears, no one truly stood by my side, I couldn't give up, and I had to prove I could win or die trying. Maybe then I'd get some respect.

"No… are you…?" I could hear that I was out of breath as I spoke; when he looked surprised I smirked and did the one thing I could, I spit in his eyes.

The reaction was immediate. I felt his weight leave me as he pulled back, hands flying to his face, mouth open in a silent scream. A sound like a hiss bubbled forth from his gaping mouth just as the teacher on duty in the lunch room lifted us off the floor and glared at the two of us.

 _Well,_ I thought, _that's one way to end lunch with a bang_. I almost sighed but held back, content to glare wistfully at the ground. Strangely enough, I didn't mind the fact that we'd been caught, I knew we would have been, but I had finally stood up for myself. The one problem was that it sounded like I'd end up with a suspension at the least…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I was right, we were going to be punished; we both had in house suspensions for four days. Sadly enough that meant I'd be spending the rest of the week with the one boy I hated. I heaved a deep sigh as I flopped back onto my bed, head hanging over the edge, my eyes sliding close. I was tired and sore, and I was confused about my friendship with Feferi, why had she said those things…?

 _"Don't worry," she whispered, "Ignore what he says… he doesn't know any better…. Sorry about him…"_

The broke whispers kept echoing in my mind, nothing would stop them! Did she even care about me? Or did she only think I was someone to be ashamed of? The sad part was I still found myself drawn to her, I still felt as though I loved her.

I let myself roll off my bed and I stood, eyes sweeping my room looking for my stupid phone, the walls were lavender and the trim was a deep purple. The clutter filled each corner of the room and spilled over most surfaces, mostly clothes and school work with a book every so often, and I had filled the walls with posters from Harry Potter and pirate movies. My phone was sitting on the desk.

I lifted it and flipped though the contacts trying to find someone I could talk to. Two names caught my eye, Karkat and Kanaya. Karkat would usually be my first choice for something like this, strangely enough the boy was really good at romantic advice. I mean really good at giving advice, he always knew just what to say, but at the same time he was quick to judge and would probably yell at me for ruining his lunch.

That left Kanaya, one of my few good friends. She was older than me by a bit and not quite popular; she was kind and seemed like a mother at times. The girl was a fashion expert, truly, she knew just what you should wear and she had a gift when it came to creating clothes. Kanaya was also a known lesbian, I admired her for being able to come out and come to terms with who she was, she had even attracted the affections of the class evil goth with her confidence.

I sighed and hit the call button, and waited for the girl to pick up. I could hear the phone ring and I hoped, somewhere in the back of my mind, that maybe she wouldn't pick up. I was scared, I needed to talk to someone about this but I wasn't sure if I'd say it right…

"Hello…?" It was too late to turn back now.

"Hello Kan, its Eridan." I found myself already smiling at the sound of the calming tone in her slightly accented voice. I could picture the short haired woman now, eyes twinkling with a knowing yet sympathetic look, and she would be wearing something she had made.

"Oh, hello, how are you after that dreadful fight? I truly hope you're faring well, it would be terrible if you were hurt badly!" I sighed slightly, even she had heard about it, she had probably even seen parts of it.

"Don't w-worry… I'm fine! Really Kan-"

"What's wrong," she asked interrupting me quickly and I silently cursed my stutter, she knew that it meant I was upset in some way, everyone did. I probably had been born with it.

"Nothing gets past you does it? W-well… you see it's about Fef." I let the finale words hang in the air and I heard her give a small, knowing sigh. Before I found myself pouring my troubles out to her, everything from my friendship worries to the love I felt for her.

"Kan, I love Fef…. She's beautiful and sweet… and she treats me kindly! And I know I don't only see her as a friend, she's perfect, Kan, perfect. I don't think I could go on livin' without her… and w-well, I don't know if she likes me back." I could her Kanaya make a small noise but she told me to go on.

"W-well… today she said something that hurt me, she practically said she w-was ashamed of me." I nearly choked on the words as they came out, and I gave a sad sigh.

"Sweetheart," she started and I sighed again, "you need to tell her all of this, I know you must feel shy and timid when faced with this dilemma… but you need to tell her, or nothing will change between the two of you, you will simple just stay where you are, friends."

I closed my eyes; I had practically known that would be the answer. "But what about the other part…?" I was almost scared of the answer to it.

"That…" She paused, almost as though she was hiding something.

"W-what," I started panicking, what is it meant Feferi hated me? What if she did…? I threw myself back against the wall and slid down in, eyes closing again and I tried to keep myself from sounding too full of fear as I repeated the question. Feferi was my oldest friend, I loved her. "W-what does it mean…"

"Look, Eridan… I know you love her but I need to warn you, that girl can be…" she trailed off as though looking for a word or words, "She can be easily swayed by the thoughts and wants of others. One moment she may care for you, but I've learned she ignores those no longer useful to her, I hope you're not at that point, for your sake."

Tears welled up in my eyes and I gave what I hoped was a small 'thank you', and not just a weak noise, before I hung up on my friend. I was full of fear, Kanaya's words having filled me with a sense of dread. I didn't want my friendship to end.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

This was the day, the start of my shared punishment with _him._ We were going to be stuck in a small classroom, practically alone, and would have nothing to distract us from the fact that we were being punished for fighting. My guess is that I'd be either doodling random crap or texting under my desk, well that was if I had an okay teacher in the room. I had no clue about what Sol would do.

The bus ride to school was fairly normal, I sitting next to Feferi as I stared out the grimy window. She babbled on and on about one thing or another but in truth I could barely hear what it was she was actually saying. Her sweet voice was blocked out by the warning I had been given the night before from Kanaya. "… _I've learned she ignores those no longer useful to her, I hope you're not at that point, for your sake."_ I was worried to say the least.

The world was dark. Well, not too dark, just misty and gray looking as though any moment it would begin to rain. Everyone knew that sort of weather. I almost felt as though the earth was just as confused and lost as I was and the thought was comforting in a sick way, you know, the thought of other people suffering as I was, hopeless and confused.

"Eridan, were you listening at all?" Feferi's voice caught me mid thought, my worries flaring up again, and I turned toward her a bit dazed, I had heard nothing. Her eyes were narrowed and when she saw my bewildered face and then she giggled.

"Eridan we've got to talk… now." I shivered at the tone she used, somehow I knew this wouldn't end well and yet I had to do something, had to act strong.

"I agree with you… I have something to ask you anyw-way…" I saw her eyebrow rise at my stutter, knowing I was nervous, and once more I cursed myself for it. My mind was racing and I felt butterflies in my stomach, but I took a deep breath to settle the feeling.

"Oh… okay! Um, well… how do I say this?" She seemed to be asking the air around her, with a sigh she tugged at her soft hair. "Well, Eridan… I don't think we should be friends. Don't get me wrong, you're an alright person, it's just…" She trailed off and her eyes turned toward me, trying to see how I'd respond, I tried to keep myself calm. Why did this happen so soon? We had been best friends for the longest time…

"Okay…" I whispered, trying to sound perfectly fine, "then… w-would you be my girlfriend?" I could've sworn the eye role I got from her caused my heart to break.

"No Eridan, don't you get it? I don't like you… at all, no one does." And with that she stood, swaying a bit, but not falling, as the bus moved. She ignored this and went to go sit somewhere else. I watched her go, eyes tearing up as she sat with some girl and struck up a conversation.

 _Well then,_ I though weakly, _Just when I though nothing could get much worse._ Then suddenly,almost as though some powerful force hated me,rain began hitting the windows of the bus, I nearly laughed. God, why was this so cliché? This only made me feel far worse about everything.

…

I slipped into the seat next to Sollux in the classroom we'd be sharing for the week. He looked pretty bad, his right eye black and he had a bandage covering his probably broken nose, I honestly didn't feel proud, but he shot me a glare so I knew he wasn't feeling too bad. I threw my head down on my desk and tried my hardest to keep the few sharps of dignity I had left from crying on the bus.

"ED-" I cut him off the second he began to talk.

"Not today Sol… don't fucking talk to me." I heard his sigh and the rustle of papers as he pulled something out to do. He chuckled and I did nothing but raise my middle finger, sadly I had timed it _so_ well that the teacher walked in just as I did so.

"Eridan, you might want to drop you hand." I looked up and only stared at the teacher standing in the doorway, she was young but strict. Her dark hair pulled back into a tight braid, and her glasses glinting evilly. I was lucky I hadn't been punished more for flipping Sol the bird.

"As you boys know you're here for fist fighting at lunch, you will be here for four days and I will only be with you today, others will take over on other days. I'm telling you now… if you talk you will get a detention from me and you had better be working on something productive, now… get to work." With that she sat down behind her desk and pulled out a book.

I took a deep breath; I guess I couldn't sulk all day even if I wanted to. Though the pain of losing Feferi was strong and felt as though I was being stabbed I decided I had to do something. I pulled from my bag a notebook and a pen with purple ink. Might as well do some work I guess, I had all day and what else was I supposed to do?

And with that I slid a math worksheet out of my folder and started working on the horrible, painstakingly boring work. Though it was boring at least it would keep me busy and my mind off of the lost friend. Heck, it might even make the day go faster, after all I couldn't wait to get home and away from this hell, I needed to relax, I needed a way to vent my feelings.

Hours passed without me realizing. I had gone through multiple sheets of work, my homework as well as work I needed to make up, and had even written a five paragraph essay. The work was simple enough, but it made life boring and it seemed like before I knew it our teacher spoke to break the silence.

"You guys can talk quietly for the twenty minutes for your lunch," the words startled me but I sighed and pulled out my food, not really caring and not really wanting to talk anyway. Beside me Sol stretched and pulled out a tinfoil wrapped slice of pizza and a soda, he sighed.

"Hey ED, you okay..? You theem… off" I was taken aback by the question, it almost seemed like he cared, I stiffened.

"I'm fine…" I said, not looking at him, it was in that moment that I felt my phone vibrate with a text.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I had a text, that much was obvious, but how was I going to read it? That was my new question for this cruel, thoughtless world. I sighed and tried to think of a plan. Funny thing was I couldn't, no matter what I couldn't think of a way to pull out my phone without getting caught by the teacher and phones were strictly forbidden in my damn school.

So with narrowed eyes and ignored the text, hoping it wasn't important, and began to pick at my sandwich. I didn't feel too hungry but I had to eat, if I didn't I got grumpy and moody, and I already was that way today, I didn't want to be worse. My phone vibrated again and I glared down to my pocket. Sol noticed and raised an eyebrow.

"That your phone…" he asked me in a whisper so the teacher wouldn't hear and I nodded eyes daring him to say anything loudly. He did nothing but shrug then went back to lunch, suddenly I couldn't take it. I had to stretch my legs, I had to get out of this room, and you could say that I felt trapped… it would be true. I was restless as a caged bird.

"Miss, may I please go to the restroom?" She looked up from her book, some romance Karkat had probably read, and nodded, handing me the hall pass, it was only then that I noticed that was all I had to do to be able to read my texts, leave the room and get away from the watchful eye.

The walk down the halls was long. Well, for most it wouldn't be but I had decided I would take the long way. I went to the top floor instead of the bathroom down the hall. Each time I passed a room I couldn't help but look in, most were empty seeing as it was lunch and the students were in the cafeteria but there were a few students in lunch detentions, and there was also that odd group who sat in the English room with their teacher, the 'Lunch Club' as they called themselves, freaks the whole lot of them.

I ducked into the bathroom and closed the door, it was a creepy little room with one light bulb and two grimy stalls. I slid into one stall, closed the door, and sat on the toilet with the lid closed, my hand reach into my pocket and I pulled out my phone, I had two missed texts, both from Jade.

" _hey eridan, heard what happened"_ Great, she probably wanted to talk about me and Fef, I didn't think I could take it yet. So instead I sighed and opened the other.

" _oh your not going to get these until later are you hehehe my bad"_ I shook my head in respond to that one and chuckled, the girl meant well, she did have a kind heart after all. In truth that was why I could call her a friend, she always wanted to help... even if it was someone like me. Someone people didn't like.

Jade Harley was a girl who had come into my class this year. She had long black hair, glasses, and came off as "that cheerful dork girl". You know the type, the one that would play video games and giggle, she would do well in school but at the same time would seem dumb, and she was friends with almost everyone. Two days into the school year she had captured Dave Strider, the popular boy's, heart and they had started dating, they were always together but somehow both of them had kept their own personalities. The most different part about Jade was that she had been homeschool until this year.

I smiled sadly and began to type a simple reply, _"i'm here, wwhat is it? i can't stay long though."_ and then sat to wait, I only had a few minutes before my teacher would begin to get angry at my absents from her dungeon. It was a good thing Jade was quick to reply and quicker at typing than some others I knew, she was even quicker than I was.

 _"omg! there you are, are you okay? 8?"_ I sighed; the strange emoticons of classmates always amused me. The funny part was that they looked like the sender at times, and the others times they looked completely alien.

 _"i'm fine don't wworry"_ I replied quickly.

 _"ok good, hey eridan?"_

 _"yes?"_

 _"i'm really sorry… meet me outside after school, ok?"_

 _"fine, but I havve to go."_ I slid the phone back into my pocket and left the bathroom just as Karkat came in, we locked eyes for a moment then he nodded once and we pushed past each other, I could tell he was having just as bad a day and needed room. I wouldn't try to ask how he was, I didn't want him to ask the same thing, we were at a silent agreement.

As I made my way back down the halls to the classroom I thought of the look in Karkat's eyes, the last time he looked that way was when he and his girlfriend Nepeta had broken up. Both parties had decided it was for the best but both had been hurt by the separation. Nepeta had even gone as far as to leave school for a week. I wondered what had caused Karkat to get that look back in his brown and gold eyes, it worried me.

I slid back into the classroom and gave the teacher the pass. She nodded and jerked her sharp chin toward my seat so I sat and finished my lunch quickly. Sollux was already done and reading silently, some si-fi crap, as I sat he looked over at me looking mildly curiosity but the shrugged as though I lost his interest and he went back to reading. Silently I hoped his book sucked.

I pulled out a book as well, the Odyssey, an old Greek myth. To tell the truth it wasn't too interesting but at least it kept me busy for now. The story was the tale of Ulysses, a man who was trying to get home after the Trojan War, and I had read it many times. To tell the truth I loved it, it wasn't my favorite book but it was good, even if there were boring patches.

Before I knew it the day was over. I yawned and took my time packing up, I didn't need to catch the bus seeing as Jade and I were going to talk. I looked around the room, seeing Sollux leave quickly, and sighed. This would be my prison for the week, might as well get used to it.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The walk to where I was meeting Jade was quick seeing as it was under a tree by the front door. The second I exited the building I say her wave frantically trying desperately to get my attention. I smiled slightly, already feeling a bit better, and made my way toward her. Today her hair was down and she wore a short, ruffled, blue dress, under that she wore leggings.

Before I walked all the way toward the grinning girl she had thrown herself at me with a big hug. I stumbled back but slid my arms around her, not minding the tackle, she was known for this sort of thing. I could hear the hello, and the grin in her voice as she said it before she pulled back and sighed, running her fingers though her hair.

"So," She said in a high voice, it suited her, "Where would you like to go to talk? Wherever it is… it'll be my treat to cheer you up." I looked at her, messenger bag hitting her hip, she smiled broadly, the one thing about her that could be seen as "different" or "ugly was a slight overbite but it, like the voice, suited her.

"Er… we could go for coffee?" My tone made the statement sound like a question; she nodded none the less and grabbed me by my arm. I looked at her in a confused manor, not quite knowing what she had bribed Dave with so she could go out alone with another boy. It was probably something to do with his horrible rapping.

"Off we go then!" She began pulling me, everything was an adventure for her and I guessed this would be no different. We walked the streets near our school, more like she did and I was pulled, and probably looked very strange. I was tall, gawky, and wore hipster attire where as she was short, sweet, and adorable. We both had school things and she kept chatting loudly, I caught people staring at us.

The coffee shop was about half a mile away, but it was a nice place. The walls were a purple color and that could have given the place a dark look, but somehow the place just looked cozy. There were tables but there were also beanbags. The windows were large and there were a few bookshelves full of books, another thing that made the place nice was that it was a Wi-Fi hotspot. Future writer's flocked to the place and students working on projects. It was one of my favorite places.

Jade fell silent the second we walked in, not wanting to disturb those working, ad pulled me to a table in the back. She dumped her things and sat down, picking up a menu. She looked confused when I didn't look at a menu but shrugged.

"What do you want…?" She didn't even look up when she asked the question; too busy looking at some picture of a cheesecake from the looks of it. I slid into the seat across from her, taking my backpack off as I did so.

"I'll get what I want, don't worry… I have some money." She gave a pout and put a hand over mine.

"Eridan," She said with a serious tone, "I took you here to make you feel better, I'm paying for you, don't worry about it, I have a job!" I sighed; I knew there would be no telling her otherwise. Jade would stick to something once she had the idea in her mind, she was stubborn enough.

"Alright…" I said in defeat, I could pay. My family was rich enough after all but I gave in and let her buy me my coffee, I liked it black with sugar and caramel flavor. She nodded as I told her my order and went up to the counter. About five minutes later she came back, slid my coffee over, and sipped her hot chocolate cautiously, she snapped back from the heat but then giggled at herself as I raise an eyebrow.

"So… what happened today?" She didn't sound nosy, only wanted to help. I could tell. Instantly I began telling her about my problems, venting my feelings of anger, sadness, and confusion. I watched her nod at the right parts and look worried, eyebrows knitting together, as she sipped her beginning to cool drink.

"I just don't get what I did w-wrong!" I said in what was dangerously close to being a whine, by now Jade was picking at a thread in her sleeve, she was still listening but I had been talking for a long time. I wiped at my eyes, not wanting to cry in front of a girl I wasn't too close to, and I was in public, I really didn't want to be that person.

"I'm so sorry," She said and I couldn't help but believe her. "Look, what she did wasn't nice, but you need to rise up from that. You're a great person, smart, artistic, and kind, and you hold a lot of potential. I know it hurts to lose someone you're close to…" Her eyes filled with tears but she blinked it away, "Eridan… be strong."

I nodded weakly, not trusting myself to speak as she came over to me and hugged me tightly. I hugged her back, having not realized how much I needed it, and lay my head on her shoulder. She held me for a few moments then pulled back and sat down again, as a waitress came over with chocolate fudge.

"I'm sorry; I don't think we ordered that…" Jade said her voice filled with confusion. The woman was shorter than me with a messy black pixy cut, her eyes were bright blue and hidden behind glasses, over all she looked a tiny bit older then Jade and I, I believe I had seen her here before. She just smiled and winked, her next words proved that the world wasn't all that cruel.

"Don't worry," she said in a cheerful manor. "It's on the house, I hope you feel better." She said to me, eyes full of concern. I couldn't help but smiled slightly and murmur a thank you shyly. She smiled again, and with that the young lady walked away, smile still on her kind face.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I had fun out with Jade, and walked home feeling a bit better. We had stayed at the coffee shop for a while but then had walked to the park half way between our houses. With stomachs full of sweets, and warm from our drinks we had sat on the swings and talked about school, friends, and boys. I know that last part sounds odd...

The thing is, I was bisexual. Though I had liked Feferi for a long time I might even like boys a bit more, I didn't quite know. The knowledge of this fact was shared between five people, Karkat, Jade, Kanaya, and Feferi, they had never been mean to me about it.

Well anyway, Jade and I had sat until the sun started going down just talking and being cheerful. In truth that's just what I had needed, something normal to do to make me feel better. Sure it still hurt that my best friend was gone but everyone was so nice to me and I was thankful for that. The problem was I still had echoes of Fef's and Sol's voices in my mind, warning me.

 _"No Eridan, don't you get it? I don't like you… at all, no one does…."_

 _"It's funny becauthe it'th true. ED… you have no friendth…."_

I grit my teeth as I walked, narrowed my eyes, and felt a pain racing through my heart. God, why did they need to be so mean toward me? What did I ever do to them…? I don't think I hurt Feferi at the least! And as for Sol, I wouldn't expect anything less from him, that asshole!

I walked into my house, slammed the door, and climbed the stairs to my room. I was alone in the house, as I was most nights, and had practically nothing to do. I flopped down on the bed and lay face down in the soft blankets; my bag was still on my back, heavily pushing me down.

With a deep, theatrical sigh I turned over and threw my bag to the ground not really caring about the contents, it was only school things after all. With that out of the way I lay back again, had going to my forehead as I tried to think of something, anything to do now. I missed having friends around after school, after all I rarely knew where my parents were. They were that sort of parent, the kind that goes off on big work trips and leaves their kid, I was that kid.

Absentmindedly I walked to my desk and opened the laptop that sat on it, I didn't really have a goal or anything to do but I'd find something. As I watched the computer boot up I flipped through a book, not really reading, just flipping for something to do. Then I turned back to the computer with bored eyes, typed in my password, and then opened an internet browser.

I checked my favorite sites for anything new; nothing good seemed to be happening though. In a last ditch effort to entertain myself I pulled up some IM system everyone used. I looked over those who were online, hopping for anyone at this point and saw that Karkat was in fact online. I smiled, knowing that a conversation with him would be far from boring, and I had remembered the look he had in his eyes earlier in the day. Maybe I could help.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] at 7:37pm

CA: hello kar, how are you?

CG: ERIDAN, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT? DID THE THOUGHT EVER SLIP THROUGH YOUR ALMOST NON-EXISTENT BRAIN THAT I WOULD BE BUSY TONIGHT? DID IT?

CA: kar, wwe both know that's far from true, you're on trollian after all

CG: SO? THAT COULLD MEAN I JUST HAVE IT OPEN YOU COWARDLY SON OF A BITCH. I SAY COWARDLY BECAUSE OF THE MANY TIMES YOU HAVE HIDDEN BEHIND SOMEONE BIGGER WITH THAT STUPID CRYING FACE OR YOURS, SO ERIDAN, WHY DON'T YOU CRY ME A GOD DAM RIVER AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!

I knew he was in a bad mood when I read that, he wasn't trying as hard with his insults but was still trying to be viscous even if he wasn't doing as well as he could. I had the feeling he was curled up under his blankets, laptop in his lap, watching some romantic comedy. He probably had forgotten Trollian was even open.

CA: kar, wwhat's wwrong? you seem a bit upset…

CG: UPSET?

CG: *UPSET*?! OF COURSE I'M FUCKING UPSET! YOU'VE INTERRUPTED MY god damn ROMCOM, INSULTED ME, AND NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY I'M UPSET! YEAH, I AM… BUT IT'S BECAUSE SOME LONESOME FOOL DECIDED TO TALK TO ME, YES ERIDAN, YOU'RE A FUCKING FOOL.

I sat for a moment, sighed and shook my head smiling slightly. I knew Karkat well enough to know that any moment he'd begin to spill what was hurting him. He'd go on for a while, and that would calm him down. He was the sort of person who only needed someone to listen.

CG: FINE, I'M UPSET… HAPPY YOU SICK JACKASS?

CG: I Finally ASKED John OUT TODAY AFTER LIKING HIM FOR A LONG TIME. HE'S CUTE AND SWEET AND DORKY, YOU KNOW?

CA: i know… not my type but i get it

CG: WELL, YEAH, I TOLD HIM AND I ASKED HIM OUT. HE LOOKED SCARED, BLUSHED A BRIGHT FUCKING RED, THE LIKE THE PERSONIFICATION OF IDIOCY HE IS HE CLOSED HIS EYES AND ASKED ME IN A TREMBLING VOICE, "NO HOMO."

CG: FUCK IT ALL, DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURT?!

CA: i'm so sorry! kar, can i help in any wway…?

CG: NO, FUCK YOU, FUCK HIM, AND FUCK THE WORLD. I'M FUCKING OUT, GET IT FUCKTARD? *I'M FUCKING DONE*

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA] at 7:56pm

I had to say I was surprised, I hadn't known Karkat had liked John. I felt bad for the guy though, it took guts to ask out someone who swore up and down he was straight when you yourself were a guy. I closed my laptop and sat back in my chair thinking about it. I could see why Karkat was upset and I wished with all my heart he would feel better. Karkat upset about love was a bad sign. He seemed to be the only one of us lonely fools with hop on that subject.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The second day of punishment was here, lovely. I sat on the bus alone this time, staring out the window with half closed eyes. I hadn't gotten good sleep the night before and my body was having revenge on me for that. I was already tired and knew I had an entire day to get through before I could sink into my bed for some much needed rest.

I pouted at my transparent reflection; the lack of sleep was evident in my usually handsome face. Well, no… handsome wasn't the right word for my face, usually I took more care of myself though so people were bound to figure something was up with me. Jade would know, and probably Kanaya, though the thought of them knowing wasn't painful. In truth it was helpful to know there were a few people sticking up for me.

I heard the other children screaming loudly about something, and then burst into obnoxious laughter, within the voices I heard Feferi's. Once again I was filled with a sense of longing and when the bus pulled up in front of the school I got off in a bad mood, again. At this rate my week would be utter hell, more so than usual school weeks.

I walked the halls and got into the classroom I was in for the week just as the bell rang. Sollux, the bastard, was already there reading the same book he had been yesterday. Leave it to him to already be busy with something. He looked up when I came in, raised an eyebrow as I sat, and then looked back at his book.

"Hey ED, whath up," he asked this and I rolled my eyes as I began pulling out work to do. I smirked as I came up with a alright comeback.

"Wow, Sol… I thought you were smart. The word up is a preposition, or if the question was what was above us I'd have to say the ceilin or the sky." He looked up from his book again and smirked back slightly, I knew at least for now I had won. Well, at least I had until he opened his mouth.

"Oh, ED… you're childith atempth to outthamrt me are cute. I had athked you "whath up" ath in the greeting, or did you not know that?" He smiled in manor that showed he knew he had won against me. With a sigh I frowned back slightly, letting him win.

That's when the teacher showed up, an older woman known for her forgetfulness and the way she let you get away with a lot in her class. She was the history teacher for the older grades and I couldn't wait to have her, then History classes would be fun. She smiled kindly and sank behind the desk saying a small apology for being late to the class she was running.

"You boys seem nice, and though you did fight maybe I'll let you talk, after all the best way to make up after a fight is to become friends, right?" I stared at her blankly, and I was pretty sure Sol was doing the same, this woman was mad!

"You're not goin to keep us silent?" I asked this in a stunned voice and the teacher just smiled more and pulled out some papers to grade, her eyes twinkled. She reminded me of a nice grandmother who would do anything to make sure you're happy.

"I would never dream of it my dear," she said with another smile. "After all you boys are good students for the most part and I'm sure a day of silence wouldn't be good… and after all don't you two have a project?" I groned, I had forgotten about the project we were supposed to be working on together. I could hear Sol mutter something before he turned to me.

"Alright ED… what animal are we going to uth?" Sol asked the question before I was ready and so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"A cuttlefish…" the fish was Feferi's favorite, so it was the first animal I could picture. She had pictures of them and knew almost everything about the sweet creature; Sol did not look amused when I looked to see his reaction. He had narrowed his bi-colored eyes and was frowning.

"No, I don't think we thould… after all CC ith going to uth that animal without a doubt." He looked at me as though I was dumb and I looked away, I had already known that but he hadn't given me tie to think of a better answer.

"Fine then, w-what about a seahorse?" I loved the creature, always had, and I had no clue why. I just found them cute looking and I thought it was interesting that the male would care for the babies.

"Unlike you ED, I don't want to be theen ath gay; we will not be doing a report on theahortheth." I tried to hold back the laughter, but couldn't… the way he had said the word was hilarious! He glared at me, though he had flushed a pale red, and stuck out his tongue at me in a childish manor, at which I only laughed harder.

"thut up!" he shouted this at me angrily and I tried to stop, it was just too difficult to do. I wiped the tears from my eyes behind the thick lenses of my hipster glasses, only then was I able to finally calm down for the most part. Sol was rather angry with me at this point and had his arms crossed.

"Alright, if we're not doin a report on 'theahortheth' what are we doin our report on?" I do admit I chuckled a bit as I said seahorses the way he had, and the entire thing seemed to make him even angrier. He turned from me and opened his book with a grumpy face that was almost Karkat worthy.

"Fine, be mean to me… why don't you work by your god damn thelf? After all, you don't detherve a good grade." And with that he ignored me for the rest of the day. Funny, turns out the day did end up silent, even if Mrs. Redwood had said we could talk. Not that I was complaining, I got to goof off all day.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

The day ticked by slowly, hours blurring together to become a sickly mess. I was bored, utterly and completely bored. I had finished my book, doodled for hours, and even found myself writing simple stories and poems, I had nothing left to do, nothing at all. With a sigh I began drumming my fingers on my knee watching the clock count down the last half hour of this horrible school day, only two more to go whilst in suspension, then after those few days only two more weeks before summer vacation.

What was I going to do then? I'd made no plans and I had no one to spend the summer with! I knew that Jade was planning on going with her family and Dave to her summer home on an island, and Kanaya was going away to fashion design summer camp for half the time, only Karkat would be left and he was probably going to hanging out with his crazy friend Gamzee! I was going to completely alone for the summer.

Suddenly there was something for me to concentrate on; there was a knock on the door. A soft tapping really, but still there, and in walked Nepeta Leijon, the small girl gave a little, curious smile to us in the class then turned to the teacher with wide, pleading eyes.

"Miss…. I got kicked out of class for chasing a moth, and well… I was sent here." She blushed as she said what she was here for, and hung her head in shame. The poor girl never got in trouble; this must have been a shock to her.

"Oh, dear… you shouldn't chase moths, but here, you can sit next to Eridan. I'm not going to make you stay silent; these boys just had a little fight so they fell silent earlier." Nepeta nodded and turned to take her seat, then as though as a sudden though she turned and spoke.

"Yeah, they do that at times!" She giggled and sank into her seat with a plop, she looked around the room with what almost looked like an awed look, I didn't understand this girl but the way she acted was adorable to no end. She had cat like tendencies and tended to dress in cute clothes.

Nepata was the youngest in our class ad acted like it. She had a high pitched voice that was somehow musical, and was tiny to go with it. She looked as though she could have been twelve when in truth she had just turned fifteen. The girl was a role player, loved anime, and was known for randomly muttering "I ship it", so all in all she was strange. And though she was strange she was beautiful, smart, and kind to everyone.

"Hello Eridan!" Her voice was cheerful even if she had been kicked out of class and her eyes, a beautiful light olive that seemed to look deep within you, were locked on my violet ones. I dropped my gaze, finding myself blushing a light red.

"Hello Nepeta, how-w are you?" she giggled at my stutter then smiled again at me seeming happy to no end, it was cute.

"I'm well, and mew?" There it was, the cat puns… Nepeta was known for those, she used them in speaking with all the kids in school. I had no idea if she did so outside of school as well, Karkat and Nepeta's large friend Equius would probably be the only ones who knew. No scratch that, she had a role play group that probably knew.

"I'm well, er… how has your role play been goin?" I seemed to have struck up a good topic seeing as she instantly started going off about story line and characters, and it sounded as though the five role players of the class were going to have a party sometime soon in character. Kanaya was apparently going to make them costumes; it actually was pretty interesting to hear about.

The school didn't have a role play club but I'm pretty sure they should have had one. There were five serious role players in our class alone and in other classes I knew there were others. The one's I knew however were always ready to start acting like their characters at the drop of a pin. And to top it all, they were brutal to those who got in the way of their fun.

The one who seemed like the leader to the group was the class bitch, Vriska. She was a manipulative girl who was strong minded and very opinioned. She was known for her love of spiders and the way she went through boys like she went through clothes. Another in the group was the timid Tavros; he was a crippled boy with dreams of flying. He loved anything to do with Peter Pan and was known for the way he'd willingly hang out with Gamzee and the way he needed help up each set of stairs.

Now the crazy girls in the role play group, the most crazy being Terezi who came off as psychotic a lot of the time. She was blind and crazy to no end; she would interrupt class to explain that her stuffed toy was guilty and that we should all watch out that or it would kill us in our sleep. The other nut job was a girl named Aradia who always seemed to smile and claimed she could talk to the dead, I had no idea whether or not these girls were alright in their minds.

"So, what have mew been doing these days…?" My thoughts were broken into by Nepeta finishing her rant and asking me a question, she smiled, waiting for my answer.

"Well, I haven't been doin much, simply exiting at the moment, though I did hang out with Jade yesterday." She nodded knowingly and took my hand lightly smiling sadly.

"I heard, and I'm so sorry about what Feferi did…." she looked up at me and I could have sworn in that moment I found myself forgetting Fef, I almost felt as though I had a crush on this sweet cat girl. Could it be I did…?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

It shocked me to think I had a crush on one of my class mates who wasn't Feferi. After all, I had liked my ex-best friend for about five or six years, I wasn't quite sure. I wasn't quite sure what my feeling about Nepeta were, did I like her? Did I just find her cute? Was it just feelings of longing for a friend? Why would it be her? Was it just my lonesome mind acting up?

I sighed and leaned my head against the glass of the bus window and closed my eyes. I was vaguely aware of the music I was playing from my Ipod and could slightly hear the screams of the children over it, the bus was swaying slightly, the entire thing was calm but my mind was far from that, in truth it was chaos. I was startled by all of this, I had never liked change and having a crush on someone new was a change, losing a friend was change.

In a last ditch effort to block my thoughts out for a while I pulled a sketch book from my bag. I was never too serious about my drawings, it was more of a hobby, but I had to say I was alright. I began sketching a face, a girl, and slowly the likeness of Nepeta formed. It wasn't my best sketch, far from it, but it was okay and apparently the girl behind me thought so too.

"So you draw, Little Mister Hipster…?" I was started by the sudden slightly slurred voice and looked up to find a girl with shoulder length, slightly curled blonde hair. Her eyes were a bright pink and she was smirking in a way that said she knew more than I did, I didn't remember seeing her in school, maybe she was my upperclassmen.

I pulled my ear buds from my ears, paused my music, and looked up at her in bewilderment, blinking slightly. She seemed amused by my awed expression and laughed happily before turning and pulling on the hand of the girl across the aisle from her.

"Janey! …Janey… you gotta see this!" And to my amazement she pulled the girl who had given Jade and I the brownies over to see my picture. The two girls looked at it for a few moments and I was starting to feel shy about my work, two older girls, one who had shown me a great kindness during a week moment, were overexcited about one of my drawings.

"E-excuse me… w-who are you?" I asked in a shy, choked voice and the blonde began laughing. The other sighed and pushed up her glasses, she seemed a little bit annoyed by the other's attitude and uncontrollable laughter.

"I'm Jane," the raven haired girl said. "And this…" she said with a sigh, "is Roxy, please don't mind her. You're Eridan, right? You come to the coffee shop where I work all the time." She gave another look to Roxy who was now hanging over the back of my seat trying to look at my other pictures and facepalmed. "I am so sorry for her…"

"Its fine," I said smiling slightly and she smiled back. "And…. Thank you, for the brownies that day, I had no idea you w-went to school here."

"Yeah… I moved here with my dad recently so I started going to school with my friends, it's a pretty good school." At that Roxy started laughing again and hugged Jane tightly.

"Jane, you're sooo cute! You like a school…? No one likes school, Sweetie!" Her voice echoed and a few kids looked up, Roxy just smiled and wave, not caring.

"Well Roxy, I like school… and I'm not 'no one', am I?" She gave a quick hug to the other girl before sitting her back down in her seat and straightening her skirt she gave me a shy smile and looked down.

"I'm sorry we interrupted you… er, you can go back to what you were doing if you want…?" The tone she used sounded like a question and I nodded slightly.

"I actually get off here, good night you two… and I hope we meet again." I smiled at both of them and packed up my things before standing and getting off, I could hear Roxy screaming good bye out of the window and tried to ignore it as I walked away, the chance encounter was an odd one, I didn't know how I felt about it in truth.

The walk home from the bus stop was nice, the weather was warm and the sun was nice. There was a slight breeze and the world smelled nice, maybe it would be a good night? I doubted that, I had to talk to someone about my potential crush on Nepeta, and I had a feeling that someone would be Karkat. The talk was bound to end badly.

I walked up to my house, fished the key out of my pocket ad unlocked the front door. As I stepped through the front door I called out my usual "anyone home?" and I got the usual result, silence. I hated the silence; it liked to whisper the truth or any situation and would be quick to point out faults. The silence tended to come off as the bad guy in my mind. Gosh… I must sound nuts.

I climbed the stairs to my room and threw my bag onto the bed before running downstairs again for something to eat. I rummaged through the fridge to find something but couldn't so instead decided to order something. A few minute later I had ordered some Chinese food and was sitting in the dining room staring at the phone in my hand.

I should call someone to talk, though who? I knew Kanaya had a date with one of the girls I my school I hated. Sure, I was happy for Kan, but Rose was annoying. The way the girl was screamed goth and she had a brain that made it possible for her to think her way out of nearly anything, it was horrible, she was horrible.

I guess I come off as someone who didn't like to lose, and that's true, but I didn't hate her for that. Rose was the sort of person who tried to come up with a plan for each situation, and she didn't fight with people, no… it had to be passive aggressive. She was Goth but didn't act it, instead she came off as the know it all, snob. I was sorry for Kanaya and her love of this horrible girl.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

I was now sitting, curled up on the couch, eating the last of my take out. I still didn't know who I would call, or what I would say, but I knew I was going to call someone about my feelings. The plan was to call Karkat, but I really didn't want to listen to him yapping about me trying to date his ex-girlfriend, it would be annoying as hell to hear him going on about 'bros' and 'how they don't do that'. That sort of conversation would be useless.

So here I was, staring at the phone, wondering who to call, with the final bite of fried rice I picked up my phone and began flipping through the many contacts, I had the numbers of almost all of the kids in my grade. I still didn't know who I'd call, and that is when I got the idea of what I'd do. I was going to randomly pick someone from my contacts and call them to talk about my problems.

I picked a random number and I hit call, and then looked down at who it was I had dialed. Suddenly horror filled my mind, what the hell?! I had dialed Sol's number. Dammit, what the hell was I doing? Was it too late to chicken out? Oh god… what have I done?!

"Hello…?" Sol had picked up his phone; too late to back out now, I had to say something to him. My hands were sweaty as I sat there, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, and I felt confused and oddly shy about talking to him. I gulped as he repeated the greeting in a confused voice, "Hello..?"

"Er… Hello Sol, I thought maybe w-we should get some w-work done on our project…?" I heard him sigh and could almost feel his thoughts; He was almost defiantly debating whether or not he should hang up on me of talk to me, I don't know if I should have hoped he would hang up, after all… what I learned was terrifying.

"What the hell ED…? You know it'th odd that you're calling me… right…? And anyway, you hate work, what'th the real reathon you called?" I could hear him smirking, I didn't understand why he was, but he was. The way he was talking, it made it obvious. Maybe he was smirking over the fact that I had been caught in a lie.

"I think I like someone." Silence… then a chuckle followed my words.

"Well, you not going to have any luck, give up." I closed my eyes and sighed, maybe Sol was the worst person to talk to about this. Maybe I should just hang up… but something in my mind was telling me to continue talking to him. Maybe I was going mad, I didn't know.

"But… Sol! I might have luck… She's sweet… so maybe!" He sighed and I heard him mutter something under his breath angrily, I didn't get a chance to ask what it was that he had said before he spoke again out loud.

"No, ED you won't… thee will never love you back." I pulled my knees closer to my chest; I didn't care if I looked like some dumb girl with some dumb relationship troubles. I did have relationship troubles… so why couldn't I seem feminine? This entire situation was a feminine thing to do… calling someone for advice, gosh.

"You don't even know who she is, Sol! You have no place to judge my ability to get a girlfriend, you know that? Sol… you're an asshole." I was getting angry now, he was annoying to no end in my mind and this conversation was horrible.

"thee thill won't like you." I had to prove him wrong, I had to come up with a god damn come back! Not that I thought I was going to be able to come up with something good.

"It's Nepeta…" Nope, that was not a good comeback at all. But he was quiet again and I could've sworn I heard him mutter a quick curse under his breath. I wondered for a moment what that was for but then sighed and waited for an answer from the asshole. Deciding telling him who it was would be a good enough way to answer for now.

"Good for you, she's cute, but you're not going to get her." I gulped and frowned, trying to get why he seemed to be so dead set against her and I being in a relationship. Maybe he was jealous I had a love interest and he never would. Maybe he was angry I'd be with a girl and not fighting him.

"How-w do you know-w that…? I could end up in the perfect relationship-" and then he interrupted me.

"Becauthe I'm going to keep you two apart you dumb fuck." I glared down and clutched the phone in my hand a little tighter. I glared at the wall, picturing the face of the asshole I was talking to, where the hell did he get off? What did he think he was doing?!

"And why the hell would you do that…?" My voice was dangerously low, anger practically dripping from each word like a sticky honey. I was pissed to say the least and I was daring him to say something to farther upset me.

"ED, have you ever thought that maybe you were the only one in the two of uth that actually hated the other…? Maybe I don't hate you, think of that dumbath… I don't fucking hate you." And with that the line went dead and I was left with a single droning tone and a sick feeling in my stomach.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 _What's sleep? Who needs sleep…?_ My mind seemed to want to keep me from anything that might help me; I had no appetite as well, great. I was in complete shock over what Sol had said; did he really mean it the way I thought he did? Could he really like me?! Oh my god…

 _"ED, have you ever thought that maybe you were the only one in the two of uth that actually hated the other…? Maybe I don't hate you, think of that dumbath… I don't fucking hate you."_

Didn't hate me, didn't hate me… and he didn't want me with Nepeta! Oh god, and he seemed worried when I was upset, did he… oh my god! What did I think of him, I hated him, right? Yeah, I hated him with all my heart, but he didn't hate me, what the hell?! Did that mean he liked me, would I have to turn him down? Was he going to make a move on me?

"I just don't know," I muttered under my breath. With shaking hands I ran my fingers through my hair, making it stand up just a bit messier, and sighed.

"Dun know what…?" I whirled around to face the owner of the voice that had startled me. And with that simple action I ended up nose to nose with Roxy, her eyes were beautiful, but she was too close to me for my comfort.

I pushed her back and took to instead be looking out the window of the moving bus; the sky was pretty nice today, blue with fluffy looking clouds. I felt the seat next to me dip as the girl with slurred words sat down beside me, her arms went around by shoulders and she gave me a quick hug.

"You look like shit! What happened…?" I barely knew her but I sighed and turned back towards her and faked a smile so she wouldn't feel worried.

"Nothin', I'm fine." She raised an eyebrow then burst out laughing.

"Bull… shit!" I stared at her and she put an arm around my shoulder, I tried to ignore the fact that she was touching me randomly, it was odd, but this entire situation was odd.

"Fine… there's someone I thought hated me, an' that someone I hate likes me…" she stared blankly at me, and then blinked slowly; I was reminded of a cat. Well, that could have been the cat with four eyes that was on her shirt.

"Kid, that sucks! I hope you feel better… but Janey told me to wake her up when we got to school so I gotta go… see you later." She gave me a quick hug, stood, and then nearly fell. With a loud statement of 'I'm all cool' she walked away giggling. I was starting to think this girl was either always drunk, or crazy.

I shook my head and smiled slightly, she had meant well, it wasn't her fault that Sol had messed with my mind and caused me to go a bit crazy after all and she had still tried to help. I was surrounded by nice people, wasn't I? So why out of all of them did the asshole like me? Did he even like me…? Was I going mad?

When the bus pulled up to the school I got out and walked to the door. I walked quickly, but the moment my hand touched the door I was filled with dread, how the hell was I going to face him? I looked at the door, hand still on it, and tried to think of a plan.

"Hey, are you going to go in…? Or are you going to stand here like an idiot?" I turned quickly, thinking of how odd it was that women kept sneaking up on me, to find Fef standing there with her eyes downcast, she wouldn't look at me and I didn't know why. With a hurt smile I pulled open the door and gestured inside.

"I'm goin' in, but… ladies first, Fef." She nodded quickly and walked past me at a quick pace, the entire encounter ripped a fresh hole in my chest and I stood there, watching students pass me, not caring that I had ended up holding the door for everyone that shared my bus.

I never liked Nepeta like that, seeing Fef's face confirmed that, seeing my ex-friend caused me to feel love again and the feeling I had for Nepeta was nothing like it. I loved Feferi still, and the pain was horrible. Finally the last kid walked past me and I followed the rest of the kids in, I barely saw anyone in the halls, they were probably in their classrooms already, or sitting on the stairs, or in the cafeteria, but John was there.

The boy stood with a slumped back, hugging books to his chest, and he had a trapped look about him. I couldn't help myself, in a moment I had slammed the poor boy to the wall and held him there. He looked horrified, and I felt anger, I don't know what had come over me but I had to go with it… right?

"Fuck you… Do you fuckin' know how upset you made Kar?!" He stared up at me in confusion and what might have been awe, mouth gapping like a fish as I continued. "He was so upset he couldn't properly insult me."

"W-what…? What did I do…?" He looked down, I was pretty sure he knew what he had done, what I was yelling at him for. I lessened my grip and sighed, running my hand through my hair.

"You turned him down with 'no homo', you should have been nicer… Don't ruin it, what you two have is special, you know that, he knows that, even I know it."

"We don't have anything!" Tears filled his eyes and he pulled back, "We never have… and we never will, okay? Do you get it…?" I took a step backward and shook my head, I watched him wipe his nose with his sleeve and look away, and hiding the tears I'm sure.

"Yeah you would have something if you tried, juth talk to him…" I looked over to find Sol standing there, eyebrows pushed together in a way that made him look a bit sad, he shook his head as though trying to clear it of a thought and looked up.

"Talk to KK, tell him… tell him you love him… be happy." And with that he walked away towards the classroom we were sharing yet again. He seemed so sad, I wish I knew why.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

What the hell was that about? I sighed and with one last look toward the cowering John Egbert I walked away, following Sol, with a quick pace. With a glace to the clock I decided I had time to confront the fool before class, I guess my bus got in early or something. I wasn't sure what I'd say, but well… I had to say something, I was angry today, and half of it was his fault, because of him I couldn't sleep well.

I caught up to him and grabbed him by the wrist and turned him to face me, I didn't care if I had hurt him in this situation, I was mad. He looked startled, but then his eyes narrowed and he glared a bit, seeming to have gotten over the shock. I gulped and opened my mouth to speak, and each word seemed to be coated in venom, I could see the slightly taller boy was a bit worried.

"Sol, we need to talk… now." I hadn't raised my voice or hit him but he visibly flinched and looked down, for a moment I almost felt bad for the asshole, but he was the person I had decided to blame for my bad day. But, he seemed almost… venerable in this situation.

"What ith it you want ED?" He knew what was coming, if he didn't he was dumber than I thought he could be. I could see he was trying so hard to keep his cool under my evil glare; I hoped I looked as pissed as I felt.

"What do you think, dumbass?" I let go of his wrist and took a step back, I bet I looked like shit, after all I had rings under my eyes and my hair was messy, not as spiked up as it could be. I stood, slumping, as I regarded the boy in front of me. Well, if I looked like shit I looked like angry shit.

"L-look… ith not what you think, well, maybe it ith… ED you are talking about latht night'th phone call right?" I nodded and he continued, "Look, I don't hate you… I guess you could thay…" He trailed off and looked away biting his lip.

With a raised eyebrow I watched the other's actions. He looked back at me with those strange yet beautiful eyes and reached toward me. I pulled back before he could touch me and found myself against the wall, and not a moment later I felt his lips on mine.

His lips were slightly chapped, but soft, it was nice, kissing someone with lips like that. He seemed desperate and kissed in an awkward way, clumsy, as though he hadn't kissed anyone before. I saw him close his eyes and try; I couldn't help but close my eyes as well. I didn't know what he was thinking but I know what I what thinking.

 _This feels right…_

I didn't know how, I didn't know why, but kissing this computer dork felt right. Too right for my liking, so with shaking hands I pushed him away and looked at him with a shocked, probably wounded expression. His eyes were glazed and he seemed terrified of what I might do to him. I just shook my head and walked away, unable to deal with this at the moment.

I couldn't deal with this at all, and before I knew it I was in front of the door again. I couldn't take school; I just couldn't, so I walked out. I didn't care anymore, they can fucking call my parents, or punish me with more in house, I don't care, I can't deal with this right now. I need to think about everything, and I needed to do it alone.

Why had he kissed me? Why had it felt right? Why was I walking from school now with tears in my god damn eyes? I didn't know, and I didn't care by this point. I just needed a way out; the worst part was I didn't know why I was so upset and emotional. What the hell had made me this way in the first way?

Before I had even had an Idea of where I was going I found myself at the park near my home. I threw my bag to the side, not caring and sat on a swing, trying to think, trying so deseratly to find out what my problem was, the part that most confused me was the fact that the kiss had felt right, why had that happened? Why had I kissed back…?

I took a shaking breath and kicked at the wood chips under my feet. They did nothing but move a little and I sighed, I wished everything was like a movie, easy and predictable. I would be the friend that Feferi ran to when her popular boyfriend hurt her, and we'd be happy. Sollux would be nothing, his character wouldn't matter… there would be no pain, no sadness, or at least it wouldn't be bad… right?

Maybe not, maybe it's not so great being stuck in a movie, maybe… maybe it sucks and I'd feel horrible if I had to deal with it. Maybe… this life is better than what it could be, maybe… maybe…

 _Maybe you should shut up because your ideas are crap and you're just rambling._ I sighed, I couldn't do this, I couldn't be alone with my thoughts, and so I stood. I walked with stiff legs over to my bag, lifted it, put it on and walked away from the park. I had to go home, and I had to sit, possibly with ice cream, in front of the fucking TV.

I'd watch some kid's movies and not care if I seemed like a fool, I was thinking 'The Little Mermaid' a movie I had been forced to memorize when I was child because Fef had loved it. I would cuddle up under some blankets and pretend, for the day, that I was happy, that I was a child, that things were easy to understand.

Yeah, that sounded better than the hell called school.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Where the hell were you? And what the fuck did you do to John." I blinked and stared at the paused movie on my movie screen, Karkat yelling at me wasn't helping whatever funk I was in because of stress and confusion. I sighed and moved a bit stretching and laying back on the couch, phone still to my ear.

"I'm waiting for a god damn explanation, he showed up for class in tears and didn't say much that made sense. He sounded even dumber than usual." I put my hand over my eyes trying to block everything out, not that it was working, I still had to deal with this didn't I?

"Kar… you an' he are goin' to have it good, I won't… Fef will never want me." I could hear Karkat knock something off something, or maybe he was throwing things, you never knew with him. Maybe it was the sound of a body hitting the floor, not that I thought he had it in him to kill.

"Shut up, he doesn't fucking like me!" I could hear the pain in his voice and I felt bad for him, I really did, John was pretty stubborn about the fact that he was straight. The funny part was that everyone knew he wasn't, and we accepted him as he was, the only thing keeping him from coming out was himself and his beliefs.

"Yeah, he does, I know he does… it's obvious…"

"Fine," Karkat was giving up on the subject, I was glad about that, but scared of talking about the next thing that was to come up. "Well, where the hell were you? I know you were here this morning."

"I ditched, I couldn't take it." _Keep it vague Eridan,_ I thought trying to save myself, _if you keep it vague he won't know exactly what happened and you won't be humiliated._ The sad thing was, I didn't think that it would work.

"Couldn't take what? I mean, I know you're a fucking pansy but you don't need to prove it." He chuckled slightly, though I noticed his insults still weren't as good as they could have been. I guess the whole rejection wore him down.

"W-well…"

"'W-well' what you useless, little piece of hipster shit, what happened to you today that was so fucking horrible?" I sighed and decided to tell him, the worst thing that could happen would be him hanging up or telling someone, right? And I don't think Karkat was the sort of person to tell others.

"Sol kissed me…" I was met with silence, I sat there, feeling more uncomfortable by the moment, before I heard Karkat's chuckle from the other line. The laughed bubbled up, becoming more a laugh; he wasn't trying to hide it any more. I furrowed my brow, deeply confused by this reaction.

"Hey… Kar, may I ask… w-what the hell?" He tried to stop laughing, I could hear it in his voice when he spoke that he couldn't completely though.

"Took him long enough, Eridan, he's liked you for years! God… I thought you had known…! Thank you, I needed something to cheer me up, this is it!" And with that he began laughing again. I couldn't take seeming like a fool so I hung up, angry at Karkat, at Sollux, and at myself for not understanding.

I threw the phone to the coffee table, glared at it a moment, then went back to my movie. The sad thing was, The Lion King wasn't helping cheer me up anymore, I was confused again. The confusion was now mixed with betrayal, how come my friends hadn't told me the guy I hated liked me? How the hell did he like me?!

I grabbed my phone again and paused my movie. School was out now, Karkat had proved that, and that meant Jade or Kanaya was within reach, I didn't think either of them had plans. Jade's name showed up first in the contacts so that's the one I hit.

 _Ring…_ Nothing yet.

 _Ring…_ She still hadn't picked up.

 _Ring…_

"Hello…?" Jade's voice sounded cheerful, "Eridan is that you?" I could hear the worry in her voice now and I sighed.

"Yeah, it's me… w-why the hell didn't you guys tell me Sol liked me?" I heard her sigh slightly and I could picture her chewing on her lip like she did sometimes, I was guessing she was trying to find a way to reply.

"Well, we thought you should figure it out on your own… you know? He should have told you himself! Wait… did he tell you he did…?" I looked down, as thought she was there with me and I had to act shy, I couldn't really, it didn't work that way, you know?

"S-sort of, he… kissed me." She gasped and I could picture he covering her mouth as she did so, the sound made her seem like a ditz but I didn't care, it showed she cared in a strange way.

"He did… omg, are you okay?"

"I w-would be if you hadn't said 'omg'" It took her a moment to get I was being sarcastic then she laughed a little bit, she sounded nervous.

"No, really… are you alright? I mean, you got kissed by a guy you hated." I noticed the past tense but I didn't correct her, after all I had no clue what I thought of him now, I thought it was hate, but I wasn't sure. I wish I knew.

"Yeah, I'm fine… I have to go, bye…" And I hung up before she could reply. Well… Back to my movies, I had a feeling I was going to be sitting here for a long time.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

A horribly boring and painfully confusing day loomed before me in the form of the school building, brick walls warning me of being trapped. I knew it would be a day that would drag on, I just knew it. _You could just go home,_ I told myself, but I knew that wasn't true. If I missed anymore school they'd prolong my punishment and I didn't think I could take that.

With a sigh that echoed, either just to me or for the world to hear, I pulled open the door with drooping eyes, again I hadn't gotten any good sleep. Damnit Sol, why did you have to mess with my mind in such a cruel way? You knew I liked Feferi… why would you do something like kiss me?

I walked the halls with echoing footsteps, I heard the chatter of students milling about and I heard laughter, I didn't care about any of it. I wanted to get today over and done with, couldn't everyone see that? But if the saw that, why did two people come up to me smiling, why were Karkat and John blocking my path?

"Hey Eridan… we wanted to talk to you!" John's voice was cheerful, but shy… and he seemed a bit cautious, I would be too if I was walking up to someone who had, the day before, threw me up against the wall and yelled at me.

"Yeah… We have something to say you little fish loving fucker, thank you…" I blinked slowly, my eyes sweeping from Kar's slightly red face to the now shy and blushing John.

"W-what…?" I stuttered from sheer confusion.

"We're official now dumbass!" John said quietly, "and it's because you made me see that we'd be happier together." I smiled weakly and gave Karkat a hug, I whispered congratulations in his ear ad he pushed me back, painfully.

"Hey! Hands off you great big moron, why don't you run back to Sollux like the confuse bastard you are!? I know what's going to happen, you're going to fucking fall in love with that useless hacker dork and you two are going to happy! So save the fucking hugs for him, I have my own idiot to hug me!" People walking by began laughing and Kar toward his head, tan ears now red. "Y-you don't need to congratulate me…" he said quietly.

"Yes I did… an' now, I'm on my way to the room where I'm bein' held captive, the bell's goin' to rin'" I gestured at the clock and turned to leave.

"Oh, fuck..." John said, looking startled, "Well we're off too... see you later!"

"Yeah, bye," Karkat started walking off and I took that as a cue to leave, hands stuffed in my pockets, frown returning to my face. _See you when I feel like it, Fag,_ I couldn't help but think, I was pissed off.

I was happy for the new couple, and I was proud that I had caused their happiness but I wasn't sleeping well, had no best friend to talk to, and felt more confused than I had ever felt in my life. What did I think of Sol? There was that new question buzzing around my head like a bee, what were my feelings on the little asshole?

He was too good for his own good, popular without trying, and had an almost royal way of holding himself. The other students liked him as well, why did he have their love? And another thing, he was smart, too smart, and didn't have to try in school, at least it didn't seem like he did. I guess I was jealous of the bastard.

I walked into the now familiar and boring classroom, Sol was already there. I wasn't surprised he was, he was the sort of person who arrived to things early so he'd never be late. He was reading in his chair and looked up slightly when I came in, his eyes scanned me for a moment the dropped, a blush forming, and I sat down quickly.

There was something about him, in the way he stood, the way he read his stupid books, and in the simple things he did that made him dangerous. His eyes would scan for imperfections in anything and I couldn't help but find that hot. He was attractive, there was no denying that, but he was no Feferi, no goddess hiding in the body of a human. I didn't know how to deal with him, not in the slightest, should I push him away or keep him close?

"Hey ED," the boy's voice broke through any thoughts of him swirling around my mind. I sighed and looked over, my eyes narrowing.

"Hello Sol," I pulled out my own book, today it was some book Kar had given me months ago and I'd forgotten to read, some crap romance novel I'd hate in a few pages, I had nothing left to read after all so why not?

"Uh… good morning?" Why the hell was he trying to make conversation? This was just odd, I looked over at him blankly.

"Why the hell are you suddenly tryin' to make conversation? Are we friends now just because… because you kissed me?" For a moment the asshole looked taken aback ad stared down at his lap, in that moment the bell went off and we both jumped. Where was the teacher?

"Y-you really have to bring that up?" I'd feel bad for the sucker if I didn't have this odd surge of rage flowing through me.

"Yes, yes I do… w-why'd you it?!" He hung his head and sighed; I watched his hair fall in his face and hide his eyes. His mouth was forming a tight line at the moment and I didn't know exactly what to think of him right now.

"W-well," he started with, he sounded so confused and upset. "I know you hate me, but I've liked you for a long time… okay?" Yup, that's how my day started. I guess there was no way to keep this week from becoming hell.

"You w-what?!"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The teacher walked in with a grin on her young, sweet face six minutes past the bell, she smiled through an apology for being late, smiled as she asked me to sit, and then smiled more as she herself sat. She was too cheerful to be watching kids who were in trouble, something told me we were going to get away with a lot.

"You guys can talk… and I hope you don't mind me leaving every once in a while to do some stuff…?"The woman said something exactly like what I had thought she would… She had this really cheery tone, great; I hope she's not a talker.

I turned toward Sol, looking for an answer to my question from earlier , and well, he pretended not to know what I was talking about. Or at least he seemed to be pretending, he was pulling out work with a faint blush still covering his cheeks.

"Sol…" I whispered quietly and he looked up, his eyes angry.

"What do you want ED?!" I gulped and closed my eyes, taking my time.

"Sol, meet me after school, w-we'll go to a coffee shop I like, on me, then w-we'll go back to my house to talk…" I opened my eyes to look at the startled expression crossing his blushing face. I smiled a little, "sound good?"

I watched him nod and look down at his notebook with a smirk forming on his lips, "hey ED?"

"Yes Sol…?" I asked with a small frown.

"Would that mean you're taking me on a date then back to your house…? All I thaid ith that I liked you, that doethent mean I'm ready to go that far." He chuckled, victorious in this little battle of make the other uncomfortable.

…

The day had gone by quickly, hours blurring together in a way hours only could if you were fearing something. I had finished the book from Kar, hated every last part of it, and started doodling things in my sketchbook out of boredom. I had to stop when I had begun to sketch Sol multiple times, he was simple to draw, fun even, but I didn't want to have him notice.

The bell for the end of the day rang and I slipped out of my seat, already packed, and turned to Sol with a sigh. "Are you ready to go," I asked him simply.

"Yeah," he slipped his bag only his back and gave me a shy smile.

I walked out of the room and looked over my shoulder to check that he was following me, he was. So with an awkward silence hanging over the two of us we pushed our way through the crowd of children swarming toward the doors to escape, I saw Karkat and passed him his book on the way out, he raised an eyebrow at Sol following me but I shook my head to shut him up, this wasn't the time to talk.

Sol and I walked from the school; the dork was having trouble carrying his heavily loaded school bag so I took it. He glared and took mine, seemed surprised it was so light, and then sighed.

"I'm not letting you carry everything…"

"Fine, don't, but you seemed to be strugglin'. What's in this bag, a dictionary?" I looked over at him, actually being serious about what I was saying. He smiled however, a nice smile, why was his smile nice?

"No, I have two… one for English, and one for my French class."

"You're such a dork!" I called him such in a laughing tone before trying to ruffle the fool's hair; he raised an eyebrow at my attempts. "Why are you taller than me…?" I whined at him and he chuckled before answering.

"Why are you trying to ruffle my hair?" I shook my head and sighed.

"I have no clue," and with those last words we walked the rest of the way in silence. It was a nice day to say the least, sunny in warm, and the birds were singing cheerfully. In an attempt to fill the silence I tried whistling back to them, I did alright at imitating their calls.

When we got to the coffee shop Sol held the door for me and I slipped in, I turned to watch his reaction to the place. He looked around, seeming to take in the purple walls and beanbag chairs, then walk to the back and put my bag in a chair at a two person table. I, in turn, put his bag by the other seat and sat down.

"Tho… you mutht've had a reathon to take me here." I nodded and passed him a menu as he sat down.

"First, we have to work on our project later, and second… I wanted to treat you to a treat, seein' as it's the least I can do." I didn't know how to break it to him I'd never like him. I guessed this would be better than just telling him no.

"theening ath it'th the leatht you can do…? You can jutht thay you don't like me and call it a day." I stiffened, not knowing how to reply. He saved me from having to by standing. "I'm going to go order, what do you want?"

I shook my head and stood, "no," I said, "W-what do you want? I'm payin' after all."

"Er… can I get a honeybun?" He seemed almost hopeful as he sat again and I couldn't help but smile at him the way he was acting was almost cute and once again I couldn't tell how I felt about the little asshole, maybe I cared about him, maybe I didn't. I honestly had no idea, I felt something that I didn't understand

"Sure, one honeybun it is," I said and walked up to the counter, still confused.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

I couldn't believe it, my long time enemy, Sollux Capter, and I were sitting in the same room without fighting. On top of that he was eating a sweet as I sipped my favorite coffee, at the same table. This was, interesting… to say the least; anyone walking by would think we were dating or something. It was almost a shame we weren't. Sol was hot, even I couldn't deny that.

I looked over at the one across from me, his bi-colored eyes seeming to search the room in a dazed sort of way, maybe he needed to get used to the setting? The hair on his head was crazy though looked washed, so he did take care of himself besides his messy appearance. I didn't know what sort of style Sol was going for; he was dressed in faded jeans, straight leg, and a loose, black tee-shirt.

"You look like you just climbed out of bed…" I said quietly, not realizing I was speaking aloud. I took a sit of my coffee and sighed as Sol looked up.

"What the hell did you thay…?" I blushed lightly and dropped my gaze, shit, why did I speak out like that? Why did I do that?

"I just meant… you don't look a' though you care for your appearance all that much." This I explained quietly, cautiously, I didn't really wish to start a fight. I was confused however when he started chuckling softly.

"I don't," he said simply. "Not everyone is a girl or like you." I felt a flash of anger and tried to keep from lashing out at him.

"No fair! You're bein' rude, Sol..!"

"Am I?" With that last question he went back to eating, silent again, and came close to finishing his honeybun. I watched him look at the last ite before looking at me and holding the bite out.

"You want it…? You paid after all."

"Sure," I said around a small smile and bent over the table to eat from his hand. I watched triumphantly as he flushed a bright scarlet and pulled his hand back. The treat was good, but I had to say seeing him feeling so embarrassed was better.

"What the hell ED?!"

"Eridan," I simply replied.

"What…?" He seemed confused and I took another sip of my drink, it was getting a bit cooler, I would have to finish it a bit quicker.

"Call me Eridan, it is my name… right?" He nodded and replied quickly.

"Then call me Thollucth." I raised an eyebrow before laughing happily, again the boy across from me turned red, though this time it wasn't so brilliant.

I was still chuckling as I replied. "Fine, 'Thollucth' it is."

"Thut up… you know what I mean…" I did, so I sighed and nodded.

"You about ready to leave here, _Sollux_?" I asked, adding emphasis to his name to prove I wouldn't tease him. The joke was already old after all, at least it was to me. He got it enough at school, though I hated him I could be nicer when it came to teasing, right?

Did I even hate him…?

"Yeah, leth head out, okay?" I nodded and stood, taking his bag again. We playfully fought over it for a few moments before he ended up carrying the heavy load. I felt bad after all we were walking because I liked too but he obviously seemed too have too much stuff for the exercise.

"Sol," I didn't care that I was back to the nickname, "would you like to call a cab of somethin'?" I swear he seemed surprised that I was offering like that.

"N-no… I don't have money-" I interrupted him suddenly.

"But I do." He again seemed surprised, why did it always surprise people when I had money? My parents were always working, we had money, too much of it at times. I could do whatever the hell I wanted with it, I was paid to breathe in my house.

"You w-what..?"

"I'm rich, an' you're startin' to sound like me, aren't you Sol?" He seemed taken aback and looked down.

"I uh… didn't know you were rich…" I sighed and rolled my eyes. It was always annoying when people were all shocked about my being rich, after all I just wanted to be normal and not have to deal with the looks in the eyes of others. Sure, it was nice to be better than other people but that didn't get me friends, not real friends anyway.

"I am, an' let's get over it, alright? Now w-would you like to take a cab or w-what?" I just wanted an answer; I didn't want to feel this awkward, not at all. It was horrible to deal with, great, there was the look. He was giving me that look of awe that drove me nuts, though… it looked good on him, why did it look good on him?!

"Leth walk, alright?" I nodded and started walking home, he followed, catching up to me quickly, and we walked in silence for a while. I watched the sky at times, ad at others I watched the ground. The air was warm, a bit humid, and I liked it still, even as the sun was dipping lower over the city, not yet causing the world to be dark, but causing shadows to leap and dance, it was nearly at the blue hour.

Blue hour, my favorite time of day, was not quite day, and not quite night. It was cooler and seemed to whisper old folk tales. Tales of victories and death, of loss and gain, this is what was hinted at in the shadows during my favorite time of day, thinking of it I smiled and forgot that in a few minutes I'd have to deal with a project, that I'd have to deal with Sol… that I'd have to decide how to tell this boy I didn't want him, or rather, that I had no idea what I felt about him.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

We were home now sinking into the sofa and lounging back, my enemy and I, funny how that works. We had spent all day together and still, we hadn't tried to kill each other, this seemed to be a new record for Sollux and I, strange. I almost felt as though I liked it.

"Tho…" he said, voice sounding out an unspoken question, were we actually going to actually work on our Biology project?

"So w-what? You're the smart one, Dork, what now?" he sighed ad rolled his eyes, his true drama queen showing it seemed.

"Oh, thut it you… hey, where are your parent, wouldn't they be home?" I was taken aback, why that as a question of all things? I swallowed hard and stood, walked to the window, and tried to think of how to answer the boy who was still sitting. He seemed worried before he hid it, he stood and came towards me.

"Hey… did I thay thomething wrong? Eridan…" His voice was soft, caring, why?

In truth, eve I didn't know where my parents were. They would go out for months on end with no warning, I'd get a postcard at times ad they'd explain how much fun their happy little life was. Business, that was how they explained their travels to me when I was younger, I had never learned any more.

"No… it's just… w-well," I swallowed and turned back towards him. I was pretty sure I looked calm, cool, and collected. "My parents are always aw-way on business."

The arms that encircled my waist surprised me and I flinched slightly as Sollux's forehead pressed to my shoulder, was he trying, for some sick reason, to make me feel better? I let myself get lost in the tight hug, finding his strength comfortable, and felt a pain in my chest.

"Thath why you don't like being ignored and forgotten… ithn't it?" his voice was barely above a whisper and I nodded. I hadn't noticed until this moment, having my parents not be there had led to some of my pain through all these years. Losing Fef was like losing my best friend, and… a sister.

I had only loved her as a sister.

Realization filled me and I pulled back from Sol, tears forming in my eyes, he seemed so lost ad I couldn't help but fill with shame. I couldn't stop these tears, couldn't stop shaking, with a weak, shaky breath I pressed myself to the wall. How many times had I cried over everything? Why did this have to happen again, and why did it have to be now of all times?

"Eridan…?!" Sol reached for me, probably trying to help but I couldn't face him, I turned away tears beginning to stream down my face.

"Leawe me the fuck alone Sollux, don't you get it…?! You. Helped. Cause. This." My words were venom dripping from lie tainted lips, I tried to picture him leaving in attempt to will him away, it was so horribly embarrassing to be seen like this, I hated this weak feeling spreading through me.

Again arms found their way around me and I was held, I sobbed against the chest of the one who had been my enemy. Trying to sob away my pain, trying to stop, and trying to move on, how would I continue to keep my head up if I felt such crippling pain in my heart?

I could hear Sollux whispering reassuring words in my ears and felt longing for my mother and for Feferi, my knees gave out and I slid to the floor, Sol sitting with me and pulling me into his lap. I clung to him, still crying, why couldn't I stop? Why the hell was I doing this?

"It's so hard…." My voice was broken, cracked in places as I offered my words out to the one holding me. He nodded, encouraging me to go on. I took a shaking breath and hid my face, shy; this would be the first person since Fef to know how I felt about my life.

"I try," another breath, "to w-wake up each day an' stand strong. I'we got no parents to lead me forw-ward, no father to show-w me the w-way. I go to school, take classes, an' take shit from little assholes like you… I deal w-with broken hearts, I try to be a good person… an' I come home to this. I come home to the echo a life, a sick fake family."

"I'm thure that can't be true…" I could hear it in his voice, pity. Oh God, how I'd missed that sound. I'd missed knowing there were people who might care, people who might offer kindness to me, not just empty rooms screaming loneliness back at me.

"It is… I'm so fuckin' alone…" again, I could hear the voices echoing taunts back at me from all corners of my mind, why? Why did I have to deal with being alone…? No one liked dealing with an empty room, no one likes living with no one to hold you, to hug you and whisper nice things, I wanted someone to be there for me.

 _"No Eridan, don't you get it? I don't like you… at all, no one does…."_ I almost smiled when I thought of Fef's piercing words, it was so sick that they hurt even now, so horrible that I couldn't forget what broke my heart.

 _"It's funny becauthe it'th true. ED… you have no friendth…."_ Did Sollux, the one holding me close and trying wipe my tears that wouldn't stop, really think that? Did he really think my loneliness was a joke, a laughing matter?

Fresh tears, new sobs, and I instinctively pulled at my long sleeves. I always wore long shirts; I couldn't show anyone the scars hidden there. Almost in a trance I watched long fingers sliding up my sleeves, Sol had noticed my movements. Fingers brushed old wounds, and as I raised my face to see the horror I thought I'd find all I was met with was worry.

With tears in his eyes Sol placed a hand on the side of my face to force me to look at him. In that moment I knew he was different, he wasn't going to leave me, was he? He seemed to read my thoughts because he answered them.

"Eridan Ampora, you will never be alone… not ath long ath I live." And with those words and a single tear running down his face Sollux kissed me.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

A kiss, a bond, a promise… three things that can spread through your body and heart as well as your soul, I got all three at once. The promise was from a new found ally, a boy who would stand beside me when times got hard; he promised to be with me before giving me the kiss. That kiss promised me a bond, if that makes any sense. I honestly didn't care if it did.

This was not my first kiss, which had been given to a random person at a party, but this was what people talked about. Here I was, kissing Sollux, and I felt that magical flying feeling. I felt as though time had stopped, nothing was there but him. I could feel goose bumps on my arms and with one last sob I moved closer.

I leaned in, kissing back, I guess you could say I was giving in to the boy who had tormented me and hated me. Hatred and love were so similar, weren't they…? Had I not proved that? What the hell was I thinking?

Did I love Sollux?

With a shiver I pulled back, pushing Sol away sharply and curled up into a ball on the floor. I didn't care that I was acting like a baby, I didn't know why Sol was still there, sitting back on the floor, watching me with concerned eyes. I took a shuddering breath, still trying to breathe after the kiss.

"Leawe me alone…" I wanted to get away from him, I wanted to think.

"I promithed I wouldn't-" I interrupted him, not caring.

"Get away!" How could I love him? My heart and mind were racing, Sol was evil, right? He would tease me, taunt me, and push me to the edge. He beat me up, took my friends, came off as a asshole, and he was perfect in too many ways, it wasn't fair.

And yet, he was kind at times like this. He had his moments, he had promised me love, had promised to keep me from the claws of loneliness, I couldn't ignore that. Sol was smart, everything about him was a clue to that, and it's good to know someone smart. He was witty and clever, I couldn't help but be drawn to that. And god, was he beautiful.

Sollux sighed and I looked over at him, he moved closer to me. I watched through violet eyes as he lay down beside me ad took my hand lightly. Was it my imagination or was he slightly shy? Did I really see that odd, almost reserved glance, he gave me?

"Eridan… I know you're upset and confuthed, but I'm here for you. I'm here to talk, and if I leave I'm thcared you'll hurt yourthelf." I took a deep breath and hugged him close, both of us lying on the floor.

"I don-"

"Lieth, I thaw new cuth on your armth." I winced, not from pain, but from knowing that someone knew my secret now. Sol's fingers traced their way up my arm and I sighed deeply before looking down, dropping my gaze from his eyes.

"Fine… you w-win again…" I cuddled against his chest, I felt so weak, but I felt so comfortable. I didn't know how but lying next to Sol, wrapped in his arms, felt like it was opposed to be. I felt as though this was where I was safe.

"I don't want to win, I want you happy." I chuckled, strangely fining that funny.

"God, you're so cheesy… better not bring that to dates." I swear his blush is pretty much one of the cutest things I've ever seen.

"W-what did you thay about dateth?!" I chuckled and snuggled closer.

"After calming me down, w-when I could have been like that all night, you deserve a date." Sol beamed and I sighed. "Just… stay with me, alright? Hold me close; remind me I'm not alone."

Sol sighed, "Fine, but if I need to stay the night tho you calm down we're going to thleep in a bed… and I thould call my mom." I nodded and stood, wiping half dried tears from my face. I felt as though in a daze, was I really going to share a bed with the person I just realized I had a crush on? Was that okay? We weren't going to do anything…

We should sleep in different beds…

I held out my hand for Sol and he took it, standing awkwardly and pulling out his phone. He then called his mother to talk to her. Strange, I never had thought of him with family, was that rude? Not thinking that someone had family? I had no idea…

While he was talking I decided to clean my room, I tapped Sol on the shoulder, pointed to the stairs, and then mouthed that it was the first room to the right. With that out of the way I climbed the stairs myself and pushed open my door. The room was a mess.

I tossed clothes into the closet, books under the bed, and tidied the desk a small bit. I smiled at my work than began making my bed. I changed the sheets, not knowing how long ago I had last done so, and put everything back on the bed. I had so many blankets; after all I seemed to always be cold. Maybe Sol wouldn't need that many! What if he was warmer? He did seem warmer…

"Hey Eridan…? You in here?" Sol peaked around the door and I looked up with a shy smile, I nodded and he stepped in, looking around, he seemed amused that my room clashed with the rest of the house with its mess and random pictures on the walls.

"Tho… why'd you invite me into your room? Are you offering to have thome fun?" With a chuckle he stuck out his tongue at me. I couldn't stop my blush from crossing my cheeks.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

The next two or so hours passed in a blur, after all this was the first time someone other than Fef had been over to my house. That and Sol and I were working on our project, we had picked Bees as our animal and Sol was writing the essay as I worked on the poster. We had waited to the last minute, not that I'd do it any other way, and now we were close to done. And we still had about four days left to work on it!

The sound of typing was one of the only sounds in the room as we sat together. The other was the sound of me sketching the things we needed out. It was quiet, almost nice, but then again… it was really quiet seeming.

"Hey Sol…?" The boy I was taking to looked up, blinked, and then smiled softly.

"Yeah, fithboy?" I shook my head at the old nickname and looked down, feeling a bit shy not that I had broken the silence for no real reason. I mean, it was getting too quiet; I was too used to near silence.

"Nothin' really… just got quiet an' I thought I should thank you for everythin', you know-w?" Sol stopped typing and closed the computer a bit, setting it down on the bed next to him and patting the other side.

"Come here," he said quietly, the tone making it sound like a question and I got off the floor to sit beside him. We sat next to each other for a few moments before he spoke again. "Look, ED… I've liked you for a long time-" I interrupted him, or tried to. He put a finger to my lips with a small sad smile, but I decided not to listen for now.

"Sollux, what do you want for dinner…?" I wasn't able to listen to this yet, I wasn't ready to give my answer, what the hell was I going to say? How would I word it? Would I actually tell him that I liked him now? I had no idea and I didn't want to face it yet.

Thankfully Sol seemed to get it and looked down before replying, "er… thomething you have in the houthe?" I nodded and walked to the door, then, with a smile, I looked over my shoulder and beckoned to him.

"Coming…?" he nodded and walked over and we walked downstairs together, We walked past the living room and I opened a door that led to the kitchen. The first thing that probably jumped out at Sol would the fish tank.

I had tropical fish, I knew it was odd, but the fish were beautiful. They had bright colors and swam in lazy patterns, they were my company while home alone. My favorite of my little pets was an old seahorse. He was white, and had been a gift from my father. Skyhorse is what I named him, ad Fef had always found him dumb.

"You actually have fith?" Sol seemed confused but went over to look at them, he watched my colorful friends as I started pulling things out for dinner, I'd make ramen, that seemed fine. Maybe I'd add eggs…?

"Yes, I have fish. Why, did you think I didn't?" He smiled as I started trying to boil the water. I was starting to get hungry, good think I had thought of this.

"No, ith jutht… after all thothe yearth of my calling you fith nicknameth-"

"It started when we were little; I told the class that I liked fish and Fef more than anythin' else in the world. You thought that was good teasin' material." Sol nodded and went back to watching the fish, I was glad that he seemed to like them for the most part.

"Yeah, I remember feeling thad becath that wath the day I wath going to ask you to be my friend." I stopped what I was doing and turned to him, startled. What in the world? I was confused… why hadn't he told me, why hadn't he asked me?

"W-why didn't you ask me…?"

"I don't know, you theemed ath though you didn't need me." He shrugged and we fell into an awkward silence. Within the time I put the noodles into the now bubbling water, hoping that would distract me from how awkward and odd this conversation was.

We were silent the entire time I made the food, I did end up adding egg, and from the cornor of my eye I watched Sol watch my fish. He was a strange one this Sollux Capter, not that I minded. I actually liked the way he reacted to things, and I liked the way he held himself, and the way he smiled in a dopy way, and…

"Here, dinner," I said as I slid the bowls onto the table I passed Sol a fork and sat, he did the same. And when I took a bite of my food Sol took advantage of the fact that I couldn't interrupt him.

"Look Eridan, I've liked you for… many yearth," I gave him a glace, deciding to let him talk "I come from a poor family and I have no father, I gueth you could thay I looked up to you and withed that I wath ath amazing ath you are. You're a great guy, minith all the fighth we've had. What I mean to thay ith… I'd do anything to help you, and right now keeping you from harming yourthelf ith near the top of my litht."

I was speechless, no one had said things like that to me in my entire life, and it felt nice. In a moment though I started to feel guilty, selfish for enjoying the feeling Sol's words had given me while sitting in silence, I had to reply, but with what? I looked down at my hands in my lap and felt shy while I thought of something to say in reply.

"W-well, I guess you could say… I hated you." I watched Sollux stiffen a bit and I sighed. "I hated you for the w-way you acted, the w-way everyone liked you, an' the w-way you seemed so perfect, alw-ways so perfect… recently though, I didn't know-w for sure. You w-were really… cool? I don't know but I liked it, I still like it." I took a deep breath before adding one last sentence.

"I guess I just confused love and hate."


	22. Chapter 22

please let me die


End file.
